RubberBondage (rubberbondage) wrote in seattle_kink,

Social versus financial perceptions of tops and bottoms in society.

(Cross posted from my personal Journal)

These are my perceptions of being a "Top" or dominant in contrast to being a "Bottom" or sometimes called submissive.

For the record I am what I refer to as a switch. I am a top/sadist and I am a masochist or bottom. I am not s submissive and I find people seem to get that confused, how can you be a bottom and not be submissive?

Back to the subject at hand.

When interacting socially if I am attired in leather and assuming the persona of a Top I feel much better received. When I attempt to converse with others, they are more receptive and others will more readily initiate conversation and interaction with me.
When I am out and attired in rubber/latex and in general as a bottom I feel like I am dismissed, shunned or ignored by others.
Girls in latex = Hot and Sexy
Boys in latex = sick perverts
I think this may be associated with apparent American societal norms of boys as tops or dominants and girls as bottoms or submissives.

Financially it is a different matter.
I have a website and when I post galleries about me topping and girls bottoming (other than Zo fully encased) I do not get any feedback and not generate many new subscribers. When I post galleries of Rubberboy getting tortured and fucked in the ass by Mistress Miyou it generates new subscribers and renewals. I also get feedback about how cool the site is.
I think this is because:
1. It is more taboo to be a male bottom
2. Most males fantasize about being dominated by a beautiful mistress.
3. Most internet porn is viewed by and purchased by males.

Photography and Modeling.
Modeling wise I get many more requests to model as a bottom than as a top, particularly those opportunities that pay. This may be because most porn with males in it as submissives are gay oriented and it is rare to find hetero male bottoms willing to be put in such compromising positions.

So my summarization is socially it is better to appear as a top or dominant, but financially it is better to appear as a bottom or masochist.

What do you think? Why do you think this is?
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I belive that what you are describing, is something you will see in the bdsm-scene no matter where you go. I know for sure it's the same here in Norway. Theres probably lots of factors that results in male subs being somewhat shunned in a social setting.

To start off with the most discriminating one, lots of male subs are seen as pathetic sycophants (probably wrong spelling), and I have to admit, in many cases they are. What I mean by this, is that the lack of Dominant women coupled with the large number of male subs in the bdsm-community, results in some male subs behaving as if they're desperate for attention. Desperation is not a very appealing trait in a person. When you've had to deal with 1 desperate "pathetic" rubber-dressed male sub rubbing himself against your Dominant friend, or yourself, you tend to expect the same from the next person you see dressed the same. I think most of us who have been to bdsm-clubs or parties have experienced this scenario.

Female subs generally don't have to become that desperate for attention, and we probably allowe more desperation in women, than we allow for men.

I personally, prefere to speak, or socialize, with people I feel have a decent amount of self esteem and self worth. Often a male sub can give off a "vibe" of lack of self esteem, which for me makes the person uninteresting. Saying that, I have several male sub friends, who manages to carry of being a sub, and showing a good proportion of self esteem at the same time. A dominant male, will more often seem like someone with good self esteem, even though it might be a false sense of self esteem.

There are some submissive girls who also fail in this department, they seem to lack self esteem, and me personally, treat them the same as the males, I find it hard to find them interesting enough to sosialize. But I know that lack of self esteem in a girl, will in many cases make her more interesting to some Tops, as it's easier to influence her.

Sorry for my spelling mistakes, just wrote this down in haste. And, I'm not trying to defend treating sub males this way, it's just some of my thoughts on why it might be this way.