Phillip M. Vector (lance_lake) wrote in seattle_kink,
Phillip M. Vector
lance_lake
seattle_kink

Topping from the bottom

I hate people who top from the bottom. I seriously do. People who come to me to be topped and basically set up the scene as they want and tell me what they want me to do to them.

I hate people like that.

The thing is.. Do I do it?

As those who read this journal know (I think I posted it), Barb is my top in the bedroom only now. Outside the bedroom, we are equals. I do love the feeling of not being lower then her when it comes to raising Mike and yet, having my submissive side be taken care of.... or is it?

She tells me she enjoys teasing and I'm a major fan of it. So occasionally, she will play with me for 5 or 10 mins. before bed. I'm grateful for this and I go to bed with a smile on my face.. most of the time.

But any requests I give, she complains that I'm topping from the bottom. Am I? I enjoy the feeling of cuffs around my hands and legs. Despite setting them up and ready to go (Velcro, so no messing with tying knots), I've only been in it once (and that was me tied up, given 10 swats for punishment and laying there alone for half an hour. Not exactly a fun time).

I want to beg for her not to tease me. I want to struggle against it. I want to really go all out one night for an hour or so and when she gets tired, tie my hands and attach a vibrator on super low and leave me like that all night to stew... Sorry.. Is it getting hot in here? :)

But it seems like every time I ask, she gives me the whole "Topping from the bottom" argument. The last time it happened (a few days ago), I told her I ordered a new locking pin for my CB (Chastity device) and that I hoped she would lock me in it when it got here. Perhaps I was trying to manipulate the situation and get my way... But shouldn't she be accepting of my knowledge of the fetish I (and according to her, she) loves?

When I was topping (and when I find someone that fits with my style of topping), I enjoyed hearing their interests and desires. I never gave them what they wanted unless they were good. But it was a good idea I thought to know where your submissives headspace is.

So I ask you. At what point does requesting your Top do certain things turn into Topping from the bottom? Does any request of that nature automatically make it Topping from the bottom and I should just accept what she is willing to do?

Cross-posted to a few groups I belong to.
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